Friday, March 25, 2011

Fungus Fridays - Sticky Snotgrabbers

How do orks affix things?  This is the question I asked myself one day, while looking at an old Ork codex.  Sure, they can weld, and bolt, even nail something in place, but what if they wanted to glue something?  Granted, an ork doesn't "need" to glue anything.  Whatever they would glue, they can just as easily nail, bolt or weld into place.  So, perhaps it is the Grots who glue...

Whatever the case, I am sure they get their "glue" from the Sticky Snotgrabber.  The Sticky Snotgrabber is a tall mushroom that when the head is torn off, a extremely sticky, milky substance oozes from the stem.  Unfortunately, this was probably discovered about the same time that it was the heads of these mushrooms come off quite easily.  One day a Grot named Snot was sent to harvest some good shrooms for a stew.  Never seeing this type of mushroom before, Snot grabbed and pulled, his hand slid up the stem, and popped the head off of the shroom.  The stem squirted out its sticky goo, covering Snot's hand.  Snot tried to pull his hand free, and got his other hand stuck...soon, Snot was standing in the middle of a mushroom patch with all sorts of items stuck to him from other grots to tried to help, to tools tried to pry them apart.  Since then, the mushrooms are harvested with great care. 

An ork who has little use for this paticular fungus finds it somewhat amusing in the form of "Sticky Lobbin' "  Orks draw a large circle in the dirt and put a few grots in it. Then the ork simply grabs the stem, and pulls the head off, (being sure to point it away from him) Then he lobs it at the circle.  The ork that hits the most grots, wins a few teef.  (Betting is a favorite pastime of orks.)  The game ends when the circle is full of a pile of Sticky Stems and grots assembled in one big ball in the middle of the circle.  This of course, leads to a few disputes as to who hit the most grots, which is usually settled by a scrap. 

Another game is a bit more savage in its brutality.  Some orks have held contests to see how many sticky stems they can put  on their bodies, and then pull off.  This leads to a big skar at best, or limbs coming off, at worst, an ork's head comes off, or even organs as the ork pulls the stem so hard the skin is torn from his body and his organs spill out.  The title of the current champion of the "Sticky pullin'" belongs to a Bad Moon madboy by the name of "Urzbadd SnikDaz"  So far he lost both legs, and ears, and one arm.  (All of which were replaced by their mekanikal double.)  Part of the reason he wins so much now is due to his Cybork arm, doubling his strength to pull the stem from his skin...or whats left of it...

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