Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The story of Gitstomp 'Eadbasha Snikthraka

C&C welcome...

Gitstomp 'Eadbasha was a young goff who quickly gained notoriety when he decided that the ork nob leading his fellow boys on Armageddon was a pansy and a sneaky git. The young Gitstomp defeated the nob Krusha in combat. The "killing" blow was a fierce stomp on the head. The rest of the boys were impressed and soon the name Gitstomp was shouted among the boys, as he amassed a large following. The last anyone saw of the former nob Krusher was a small pack of grot orderlies dragging his body and smooshed head towards the scrapyard...

Never truly content with fighting the Imperium, Gitstomp thought that HE should be the one to carry the Waaagh Banner. Knowing it would be a difficult fight to take the current holder of the banner out of the picture, Gitstomp decided to wait until dark, and unleash a rabid pack of squighounds into the unsuspecting Nob's hut. Although bloodied and weakened the nob did not die. (Which Gitstomp had planned on.) Soon the two nobs were fighting head on. The battle continued through the night, each vieing for supremacy, as a large group of boys, Nobs and Da Warboss looked on. Gitstomp landed the final blow with a fierce 'eadbutt to his opponent, bashing the teeth out, and the cranium in. Gitstomp picked up the banner and held it aloft to the cries of "'EADBASHA!" Standing over the fallen nob's corpse, he quickly chopped the head off, and said, "Dese 'ere are my teef!" The Warboss looked on at Gitstomp 'Eadbasha (as he was now known) with a steely gaze marking his contempt for the upstart. The warboss thought to himself, "Next 'e'll come afta me! I betta make shur da boyz start to 'ate 'im, and still make me look good to Da Big Boss."
The warboss thought he had a bolt of inspiration from Mork, a cunning, sneaky plan, that will undoubtedly be sucessful. "So, da best way iz to lead da boyz into loadsa battles dat are impossible to win, dat way, when we looz, I blame Gitstomp, and everyone starts to hate im!"
After every failed battle, the warboss tried to blame Gitstomp for their misfortune. Often times the warboss thought Gork had smiled upon him as Gitstomp was nowhere to be found after the battle. (More often than not, he was away lootin' and bashin'
da teef out of da fallen boyz.)
The warboss had inadvertently adopted the new name of Loozbadd.
Gitstomp decided he would buy some Mega-armour from the mek Wasgrat. Once he stepped into his new mighty, warmachine/armor, he felt at home. After marching to a few more unsucessful battles under the command of Loozbadd, Gitstomp 'Eadbasha had enough. He told the boyz, "Da best way to start beatin' da oomies, iz to get a bettah boss!" Loozbadd was a formidable foe for Gitstomp. The combat lasted days, and the fighting reached the ears of Ghazakull Thraka. Impressed that a mere boy had ascended the ranks and now was fighting one of his worst lieutenants on Armageddon. Ghazakull watched intently as Gitstomp finally defeated Loozbadd and took his powerklaw and crushed the defeated warbosses head. "WAIT" Ghazakull bellowed, "Git da painboy to fix 'im up, He'll be a nob to some dakka boyz, 'til he learns how to be an ork again."

Gitstomp felt some animosity towards Ghazakul for taking his prey from him. But now he was boss, and eventually he could be Da Big Boss.

Ghazakull soon grew bored with the way the third invasion for Armageddon was going, since neither side was gaining any more ground, so he left his lieutenants in charge, and left.
Gitstomp sooned gained the support of his fellow bosses once Ghazakull had left. But, he still knew that Ghazakull could come back and take command of all the orks in the Armageddon system at anytime. So, he figured the only way that he could become da big boss, was to kill Ghazakull before his return.
"We 'ave been fightin' here all dis time, and where is Ghazakull?!" He said to the other warbosses one day. "I finks 'E found some bettah fightin' an he's keepin it to 'imself!"
The other warbosses seemed to nod in agreement, but deep down, they knew what Gitstomp was up to.
"But Warboss 'Eadbasha..."
The fellow warboss was cut off abruptly. "I 'ave a new name! Call me Snikthraka!" By now the other warbosses knew that he was about as sane as a pile of squig droppings, and figured the best way to deal with him since he became so powerful, was to get him out of the Armageddon region.
"Snikthraka, yoo shuld go an' hunt 'Ol Ghazakull down, dat way yoo ken be da Big Boss!"
Gitstomp 'Eadbasha Snikthraka liked that idea, so much so, that he gathered a large waaagh, and took to the stars to hunt down Ghazakull, fighting anything that comes in his way.
Every now and then he does return to Armageddon, hoping to find Ghazakull there, but he doesn't so he bangs a few heads together, runs some invasions on ooomie settlements that would be considered mad by all other counts. And then he leaves again, saying things like, "If I could figure out a way to throw da moon into dis planet, we could really kill a lot of oomies!" or His other personal favorite, "I am going to shoot da next Nob who can't walk undah da water, and git me a oomie submachine!!!"

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